BEAT THE WORLD

*The following was initially handwritten in between the confined empty spaces of a '24 Hour' newspaper.

Far away from the warmth and comfort of my room, my Snuggle Bean, my Peach and the convenience of a computer keyboard, I am now 5 hours in to what is expected to be a 13 hour shift on the set of a dance movie titled 'Beat the World'. The set? A gutted, abandoned warehouse I grimly imagine as once being the unfortunate scene of a plutonium spill. The ceiling tiles are fat and bloated with contaminated air. The wasteland of violently draped pipes and wires remind me of images I've seen on TV of the tortured bowels of the sunken Titanic. The cameras are pointed central toward a strategically, dimly lit stage that is shrouded in a spooky, 'Thriller-esque' mist. The scene? A world wide dance competition featuring the best hip hop dance crews from around the globe. My role? One of 500 screaming/adoring fans standing in a huddle held together by orange pylons and a barricade of 'security'. The temperature that started at a bearable chill has now gotten uncomfortable and I desperately want to go home. What am I doing in this God forsaken situation? Guaranteeing my survival for another month (paying the Universe it's dues?). Yes I am an 'extra'. Hollywood wallflower. But don't feel sorry for me, matters could be worse. Aside from the cold this job is total bananas!

ANYWAY, side-tracked as usual.


Last weekend the band played our first show in London in almost 2 years at a place called the London Music Hall Lounge (not to be confused with the London Music Club). For those that were there and have seen us in the past, the show may not have been particularly memorable or impressive. For one, as the only pop act of the evening, we were awkwardly sandwiched between 3 male fronted punky/rock bands. The show was open to all ages and the mix of literally, 'all ages,' created a vibe that I can only describe as unique. Also, the quality of the sound was slightly compromised as changeover was quick and hurried. BUT, all that aside, it may well just have been my favorite show of the year! Surprised? Even as an adequate writer I cannot fairly describe the exhilaration I feel as a performer when the audience unites as one in a shared moment and connects with me on a sentimental level. 'These are the moments I wait for all my life'. This particular show marks the first time that I could actually, PHYSICALLY feel the genuine out-pour of emotion bleeding from the audience. My body shuddered in waves of excitement! (I am cautious in using the 'O' word but it may have to do as the most accurate description that I can currently think of). Honestly, the ambiance of my surroundings were totally inconsequential; I could have been performing in a shoebox.

In these fleeting moments the audience feels close; as close to a family as any I've ever had. I am overcome by a sense of security and comfort; my inner most thoughts and fears safely protected in their hearts. In retrospect, I confess I sometimes feel a sense of guilt in taking so much pleasure and offering only a song in return. I can't rightly put my finger on the circumstances that made the audience at this particular show so warm and wonderful, but it was truly awesome!

'Things are not always what they seem'. As the front woman of a rock band I may 'seem' to be the star and the focus, however, without an audience to guide me and lift me up I am really, simply just an empty vehicle; a voice without direction. SO today's blog is really about showing my gratitude. To the audience in London and ALL audiences I have ever had the honor of baring my soul to, thank you for letting me in, thank you for letting yourselves out, thank you for entertaining my obsessions! Big Kiss!